Now

 

Sometimes we forget about what is important, and sometimes we think we are always on a right track. But how many times did we forget about what we are living in this moment, I mean it now, and I'm saying about the context now, not the moment. What context are you in? Let's says you have everything you wanted for the moment, but are you still focused on what matters(important)? Sometimes we want more than it is necessary to be fully happy, but at what cost? In this exact moment the anxiety for having a perfect time makes it just a little worse. And wondering about how can it just be improved, if it can be. It depends if you only or do you think it depends on other person? 

Let's start with the easiest answer, that depends on other's: Were you clear about your intentions with the other? Did you told what do you expect for that moment? If the answer is no, so you know what is wrong, it is you. If you say yes, are you sure you were clear? Nobody has to decode your half words spoken. 

Ok, if you were clear as crystal waters and the other person can't, understand it is not your fault so by all means, keep what you have and decide for yourself, if it is good all it is going on, or not. If not maybe you need to find a new understanding for other matters, not in this text and maybe i can write about it. But maybe you just need time for the understanding of yourself. That's The other answer.

It depends only by yourself, all your past and insecurities and fear are flooding your mind. You will need cure and that takes a long process of which can take years and maybe more help. Some people finds easier to run away, give a time and don't think about it. Others try to "revive" that moment until the all the scares and hurt does no longer any effects over themselves, from that last one there are 2 types: the ones who seeks heal and try forgive themselves or the ones who are always scared and never let them go away. We don't choose what to feel as reflex of what is around us, but we choose what we want to be from that moment, and that is the greatest mindset changes you will need to keep trying, if you want to be healed from whatever it is. And for that there is 2 main pillars that i can think about it which can help you through this shit.

First: you are a fucking amazing person of this world, and there is only one thing you can really change about this world and it is yourself. The power to change how things can affect you and how you can make it better. Not easy, but trustable one.

Second: find yourself a purpose. Why is this happening? Is there any lesson? (It always has) and stick to it.

The simple things are there and make it as simple as you can, enjoy it. Every single moment of life is unique and you choose if it is good or not.

Make it worth it.

My prayers are for those who read this.